Thursday, 26 December 2013

December, Another Year-end

Thanks for all the things we had and went through together.
They are so precious, irreplaceable and won't be forgotten. Ever.
all of these memories begin from Christmas Eve on 2012.
kami semua dipertemukan dalam sebuah kepanitiaan,
di suatu unit kegiatan khusus dalam universitas Katolik satu-satunya di Jakarta.

jalan pertemuan kami, satu dengan yang lain, berbeda-beda
atau bisa juga disebut 'kebetulan',
jika Tuhan memang tidak ada di jagat raya ini :)

Christmas has its own unique meaning for me.
no, it's not about the gifts,
it's not about the ambience or even the decorations.
little do I care about those Christmas thingy.

last Christmas, I received the best present ever.
up till now, the moment I type this post,
I still consider it as the way God wants to
refine me as a better person.

yes, I do feel this one-year-role is painful,
but I can't ignore and compare the bliss and bless that come afterwards.

call me liar when I said it is an easy role to be lived.
call me liar when I said I do enjoy every moment
I spent with the other 10 persons who have to
received the presents also.
call me liar when I said we are inseparable.
call me liar when I said I will feel blessed
if I continued this role for another year.
call me liar when I said I hate this lovely family.

the quote from Marc 1:12-13
explicitly describe what I've been through
with this one-year-role task God gave me.

The Temptation of Jesus12Immediately the Spirit impelled Him to go out into the wilderness. 13And He was in the wilderness forty days being tempted by Satan; and He was with the wild beasts, and the angels were ministering to Him.

I was led into the wilderness,
when my world was so full of tasks and things to do
in every single day, sometimes included my dear Sunday morning.
I was not sure what has led me to this kind of difficulty.
apart from doubtfulness I felt, now I confidently could say
that I was led by The Spirit.

for one-year I was temped.
it is not really in Satan formed or any superstitious stuffs,
but the temptations took formed of
laziness and egoism that lies in me.
I can say, even my parents were being one of the temptations.
they scolded me nearly every day
because of my laziness, and it once happened
my father told me, seriously, to drop off the role as I was judged
not capable enough to do the tasks simultaneously,
between my educational and organizational life.

I was with the wild beasts,
the other 10 persons who were also in the wilderness,
struggling in our own ways
to be safe and alive in the end of the trip.
it is not 40 days, it took us 365 days to end up the journey.
each of us has our own temptations and also angels
that makes us who we are today.

the journey was hard and troublesome.
I can't deny that
it was full of burden and conflicts.
we were all occupied by our matters.
sometimes we forgot that we are on the same wilderness.

have I ever want to give up?
yes, because it is so easy to give up.
just pretend I have a lot things to do
that makes me so BUSY
and there must be someone that would
back me up.
that simple, so easy to give up.

everyday I face its own challenge,
sometimes it came in the same form like the other days,
many times it was so unique, it was hard for me
to recognize that I was challenged.
perhaps, this is what Father Hardi said as
the tension faithful men should have.
each option has its consequence
and confusion in choosing between them
could possibly grow one's faith.

and this quotes really got me now when I read it again
after this journey was finished 

The voyage is not over completely...
ada mereka yang lainnya,
para pejuang padang gurun
yang akan memulai, atau juga kembali melanjutkan perjalanan.
mereka sekiranya memerlukan bekal,
mereka sekiranya membutuhkan petunjuk awal,
mereka sekiranya akan mengalami proses
perjalanan setahun yang bisa jadi serupa
atau bisa juga berbeda sama sekali dengan yang telah

oleh karena itu,
aku hendaknya tidak membiarkan mereka terlantar begitu saja.
setidaknya ini baktiku yang terakhir,
ucapan syukur yang bisa kuberikan,
bagi kemuliaanMu dan demi unit kecil kepercayaanMu
di universitas Katolik satu-satunya di Jakarta.

terima kasih Tuhan untuk anugerah ini.
terima kasih sesama pejuang padang gurunku,
yang senantiasa menemani,
memberi pembelajaran,
dan menjadi penyemangat,
sehingga pada akhirnya aku bisa melintasi
dan melalui perjalanan padang gurun ini.
dengan selamat, dengan penuh syukur, tanpa rasa sesal :)

my very first special moment with my new family :')
thanks Alex for this cute pic.
the first time we bound verily.
name it. we don't care. we just wanna have fun!
dining after those never-ending-meetings, LOL
family photo shoot... fancy yet unsophisticated. LOL
the greatest j*mbl* I have ever met :')
William, Lena, Surya
Kera, Ocha, Alex
Cipta, Renny, Lala, Brian
for all the life lessons he showed,
for all the wisdom words he said,
and his authenticity,

Father Hardi is the best father I've known so far.
thank you Father, you've been a good spiritual guru.