it was so painful to write a thesis all by myself.
this is true, I am not exaggerating, I am a survivor.
few days ago, I have just finished my thesis, the undergraduate one.
no, I won't call it final project,
because it is not a project,
it is a psychology research which was held uneasily,
from scratching the research background, setting research goals,making interview guide, contacting respondents, transcripting the interview, and analyzing-summarizing the data.
it is neither the research process nor the writing thingy
that were hard to go through,
believe me, it's not that shallow,
it is beyond those superficial obstacles,
if you found the writing and researching were troublesome.
the thing is, through the time of writing the thesis,
I gained some insights and knew more about myself.
I never explore myself this much and I found out
self-exploration was not fun at all, it was even scarier than I ever imagine.
that's why I called myself a survivor, because now I know truely that
everyone who has passed this (individual) thesis making process,
they have won against theirselves.
what is it actually that makes the thesis seems intricate?
first of all, there is this very huge tendency to
procrastinate finishing the thesis ASAP.
really, almost everyone whom I've asked about doing procrastination during writing thesis
said "yes, it happened to me to procrastinate more
when all I have to do was finishing my thesis".
I've asked about 20 friends of mine
from various departments and universities.
maybe this huge procrastination tendency
happens only to some people like,
who find every single thing besides finishing thesis
is much more interesting than doing the research itself.
I'm not talking about us who might dislike or uninterested
with the topic of the thesis.
WE DO HEART OUR TOPICS.
we love them to the moon and back for sure.
but only loving the thesis topic seems not enough!
it was totally inadequate to make us
stay at doing our thesis properly, efficiently, and effectively all those one semester,
an ideal duration -for most people- to finish
an undergraduate thesis.
catching up movies and tv series,
craftings or doing hobbies,
cooking, shopping, being a part-timer
or joining an internship,
and all kind of those stuffs which took lots of those supposed-to-be-thesis-writing-time,
really really more intriguing than doing the thesis itself.
I was neither an avid articles reader
nor having big interest in politics,
but since I had to work on my thesis,
I read every single articles which my eyes met and I kept up with politics news
like I am going to be a legislative candidates.
there were times I skipped sending my thesis draft to be feedbacked.
it happened for about three (accumulated) months.
I was managing a social project
while being a research assistant,
and I abandoned my thesis perfectly.
every other things besides writing thesis
are always interesting.
I feel pathetic.
in the end, it is only OURSELVES
who can make any progress of our thesis.
this is horrible,
we can only depend on ourselves.
no one can make me do things related to writing thesis
IF I don't want to.
not to mention it is an individual task
(so that no one will be harmed besides ourselves
if the thesis was abandoned),
which creating a situation where the thesis
can be finished at anytime
whether it will be done this year or
maybe 3 years later.
those all the reasons why I said
writing thesis is an intricate process.I am proudly call myself a survivor
because I can get through it, finally :')
I ought to be grateful for things
which help me a lot to push me
finishing my thesis ASAP.
here is my list of what-I-should-be-grateful-
1. Parents pressure, especially from my Mom.
she does have a huge contribution in
those comparisons with children-of-parents-relatives
really made me uncomfortable.
2. Peer group pressure.
I have some close college friends and
most of them made good progress on their theses,
so I think I should finish mine ASAP also.
3. Brother's concern.
though he says nothing which could give more pressures on me, but his concern about
my thesis-making-process somehow makes me uncomfortable
and wishes I could end it ASAP.
he even has a dream that
I hung out with my friend
while I was supposed to finish my thesis.
thanks brother for your sweet dream.
4. Faculties' concern.
some of my lecturers I've known also ask me about the progress of my thesis.
this thing makes me uncomfortable too *sigh*
5. Strangers concern.
yup, it sounds crazy but it's true.
whoever I met seems tend to ask
"how is your thesis?"
IT IS DONE NOW!
I HAVE FINISHED THE THESIS!
|my brother, my last-minute hero!|
|the copy-man in the campus library|
who is helpful and fast!
thanks for your steadiness, Mister
|the quotes on the library wall|
seems like punch me on the face
since I always play with the deadline
until the time I have to finish my thesis...
|the only kind-hearted woman in my department office.|
God sent her to be my helper.
thanks a lot Mba! :*
|there it is!|
it's there, joining with the other theses.
well, the other self-achievements, I may say.