Friday, 14 August 2015

The Purpose of Your Life

thanks for the picture
we talked about stuffs,
but often ends up in an unresolved argument.
you have your point, I have mine.
our topic yesterday was purpose of life.

I have thought my life purpose deeply
while I was in the middle of processing graduation.
nearly one year has been passed after my graduation.
as I grow older each month, I found a lot of new life experiences
which makes me think there is only ourselves
we can depend on when we go through this whole life process.
I developed a belief that it always our selves first before others.
how could a person care to other if he is the one that needed to be cared?

my dear, as you said your life purpose is
Being someone else's life reason sometimes could be the reason
I re-evaluate my opinion about my belief.
I know there are some people out there, besides you,
who care enough about the wellness of others.
they tend to sacrifice their own selves in order to make
other people happier.

I think about this until I fell asleep.
as I woke up in the middle of the night like this,
I started to google some views of the life purpose.
I found the conclusion of our arguments,
we are not talking the same concept. hahahahaha.
please forgive my silliness, I thought about meaning
while you talked about purpose.

well said, Monsieur Shakespeare :)
you are one step ahead of me, I supposed.
since I am still figuring out what is my gift
and you are already give your gift away :')

by the way, because I know it would be great for you to know
that your absence and presence both mean something to someone,
I will let you know this.

your presence is so meaningful to me.
it has given me life lessons, in positive ways.
I learn more about myself through you.
I know more about human feelings by being with you.
I develop more positive habits in my daily life after we were talking again.
I re-gain my spirit to live day by day happily just by thinking of you.
I happen to smile a lot by reading your response to my tease.
I start to re-explore the meaningfulness of an Eucharistic ceremony.
I feel I become a better Stella after we started such an interaction.

Confucius said there are three methods people may learn wisdom.
by reflection, which is noblest,
by imitation, which is easiest,
and by experience, which is the bitterest.
I believe God grant me the latest method to learn wisdom.
through you, I earn some new insights of life.
I feel the bitterness of learning, gratefully.
I have to admit this learning experience was bitter.

I found myself hard to sleep well.
in the end of the day, sometimes I feel exhausted for no apparent reason.
occasionally there are thumps on my chest which are unpleasant yet fun.
not to mention there is a crazy craving feeling, wanting your name
appear on the notification bar on the screen of my phone.
I can't get things done as effective as I used to be, there are so many things
on my head and my heart. it feels like I become a hanged computer
because of the inadequate RAM capacity. hahahaha.

I think I might unable to bear this torture
but as I feel the bitterness, I also get the sweetness.
I feel the pain and the joy simultaneously which sometimes
makes me unable to think clearly about what I really feel.
then I decided to just keep silence and enjoy each day with you around.
just silence, this is what you told me to do :)
I am a good student, aren't I? hahahaha.

as I discover the absence of you is a driving-me-crazy experience,
I learned two things
1. you are meaningful, at least for me.
2. I am able to deal with and enjoy this missing-you feeling.
I got the #1 thing by being true to myself.
I got the #2 thing by reading this helpful article.
by read it, I am able to distinguish between the lonely feeling
and an empty feeling. I am sure I was not lonely, I was empty.
since you have filled the emptiness, now I think I am quite fulfilled,
well at least not that empty as I was before.

after all, it is always grateful that flowing over me,
I thank God you found me. yup, YOU are the one who found me.
anyway, is this post good enough to make your life feel more purposeful?
*big grin*

I believe you are one of those good people :)