Saturday, 1 August 2015

Uneasy Night

in the middle of the night like this,
I decided to write down what I feel because I can't stand it anymore.
I feel uneasy, tremendously.

call me liar if I said "I don't know" if someone ask me
"what makes you feel uneasy right now?".
I know it precisely, the source of my restlessness.
I got what I gave around, one year later.

so, this is how it feels to be ignored
while you are in the middle of the need of
interaction with human being.

thanks for the ugly truth reminder
I used to ignore texts when I was in college.
besides it's because I have a lot of hectic days
through my last year campus life,
I also have a tendency to postpone text replying
while I am in the middle of doing something.
I prefer to text peacefully while I was doing nothing,
esp. when the texting process requires more than just typing effort.

now I was the one to be ignored.
I think I am going to die, waiting for the late reply.
thank God for the experience. this really teaches me to learn
to reduce such an annoying habit.

oh my, I still can't sleep!

3/8, 2:11 AM

I talked to Mogri, a stranger I've known from my frivolous social media.
he is 30-y.o guy, a freelance ilustrator,
and an ISFP type of person.
according to what he told me.
our way of thinking is so different
which makes me eager to know
his point of view about my uneasy feeling that I felt lately.

he is so cool and not judgmental.
I like talking with him although we barely know each other.
it feels like talking to Simisimi but in more serious yet casual
and understandable way (and it is human!).

he said to me some things I knew already.
I knew those things BUT the knowledge comes to me because of his words.
the concepts like
"take a break, calm down",
"go for it if you want to",
and the most important one...
"if it is meant to be, it will be"
were all things he said to me.

I used to think about life the same way like Mogri's.
but as I got uneasy (which I know later this could be happened
because I am in the PMS period-which-I-don't-really-believe-there-
is-such-a-thing-as-PMS) all of his words become a self-reminder for me.
I am living those concepts for long time,
but forget it all at once
as some negative feelings come over me.
this fact is lame yet funny.
I feel really grateful because Mogri, the stranger,
was there to hear me saying random stuffs.

this silly yet appreciated experience makes me thinking.

  • people need a huge memory capacity to keep all those stuffs (such as beliefs, values, promises, life principles, etc) kept well in their head, during their long life journey.
  • unfortunately the huge memory capacity is impossible. the fact that human memory is really limited makes it hard for human to remember every stuffs anytime on any occasions which happened in life.
  • therefore, people will need others to remind them (via quotes, talking, or by any other possible medias) on the right time, about those stuffs they think they know but often forgotten.
thanks for the reminder!

thanks for this reminder.