Tuesday, 1 September 2015

Knowing You or Myself More?

the 1st book I borrowed from you, Mr. Kind.
it might help me to make the module.
picture can also be found here.
I was supposed to go to campus,
besides to meet you who kindly lend me the book above,
I had to meet my lecturer
to get her feedback about
things she asked me to help to organize.
shit happened. my observation subject was late
so I couldn't make it to arrive at campus on time.
in the end, I just met my lecturer for some minutes
because she had to leave soon.

I couldn't help the disappointment.
it felt like I did something useless.
as soon that negative thought came to my mind,
I remember I was going to meet you and feel happy instantly.

I didn't know what we were going to do
since I thought I was just going to borrow your book
and I had no plan subsequently.
yeah, maybe we can eat something afterwards.
somehow I forgot that you are the full of surprises wizard.
it was not a surprise if we just ate dinner together.
it IS a surprise when you said your little brother was going to join us.

I didn't mind at all with your brother companion.
I had little curiosity to know about your little brother
as soon as you said he was going to join us.
what he would talk about to a stranger when we meet and
I wondered if he was going to be as interesting as you.
my curiosity, unexpectedly, didn't make me nervous at all.
sometimes I got antsy if I had to meet someone for the very first time
without any prior notification. I didn't feel any anxiety this time, anyway.

I amazed myself because it was neither that awkward
nor difficult to talk with you while there is your brother around.
I thought I would be so quiet because I know nothing about him.
I thought we would run out of topic while I tried to make a conversation.
well, now I think I forgot how I would turn into an eager beaver
when I met a new person.

does it look eager? hahaha
picture taken from here
I thought you and your little brother had chose
any place for us to eat.
well, both of you were so "up to you" which finally
it was me who made the decision. I wanted to eat hamburger
and so there we were ended up.

you said Carl's Jr never fails you.
I didn't agree with you, however, because of the presence of you,
I think the burger pleased my taste buds more than usual.
lucky you, Carl's Jr, I filled the customer satisfaction survey happily
hence I rated all aspects quite high.

after spending some hours talking,
I think you have such an incredible little brother.
I have never met any younger siblings of my friends that was like him.
he is attentive and easy to be talked to,
not to mention his best feature I found out yesterday: his coolness.
he has a good attitude, he was so cool he could angry calmly.
he was not using any cursing words
to describe things that were unpleasant. I am envy him.
I have never been able to show my anger in cool way
like the one your little brother did. hahaha.
I saw both of you so similar yet different person.
super interesting!

another surprise was when you called your friend,
(Fani or Vani or Fanny or Vanie? hahahha, yeah you know who I mean)
at that time. I thought it would be a simple hello, but again,
what I thought would happen NOT going to be happened when you are around.
you introduced us and she didn't mind to join us.
I don't mind it either but at that time I was trying hard
to figure out what kind of person she is.
having no clue at all about a person makes me want to know more.
yeah, call me kepo.

she looks pretty and typical at first.
she asked what major I took at college and when she heard
I was a psychology student, she changed her sitting position
and mentioned things related with "ability to read people like a book".
I laughed to hear her response and tried my best to explain,
as usual, to make her knows more about psychology
(psychology is not just those stereotypes).

both of you talked about your co-workers
who I don't have any slight ideas of them.
I watched and listened to the talk and I enjoyed it.
you have a good relation with her and she is interested
to know more about her friends in her previous company.
both of you talked like best friends who haven't met for some years.

she is such an open person, I could see the way she talks
anything as it is, no pretension, and I like her instantly.
she was even able to talk about her past romantic relationships
which has been ended hardly. I was sorry for her as she talked about it.
you said she is the most pleasant person in your workplace.
I can't agree more with you, she is such a nice woman.

I feel happy, obviously, after spending hours to interact with you.
this time, I learn that I started to know myself not in the way I used to be
because every experience I had with you leads me
to a conclusion that I don't know myself that much,
as much as I thought I know about my own self.

lately I realize there are things I mistakenly predict,
esp. something that is related about my emotions and feelings,
and this is mostly occurred because the presence of you.
like when

  • I thought it would be awkward to spend some time with you talking and doing nothing.
  • I thought it would be awesome to combine favorite movies and favorite person together.
  • I thought it would be hard for me to get along with your little brother.
  • I thought it would be weird to be around with your friend because I barely know them.
  • I thought there would be a lot of butterflies on my tummy when you are around.

I watched his talk months ago but I just really get his point now.
his talk can be heard here
geez, I think this year is really my year of self-exploration.
I can't say anything besides thank you, to show you my gratitude.
thank you, Mr. Wizard-wants-to-be.

uhm, actually you are not special.
you are meaningful :)
picture taken from here