Monday, 14 December 2015

An Extraordinary Training

read the article about this "baopu" comic by Yao Xiao
intrigued me to write this post.
recently I involved, coincidentally,
in a therapeutic training for teens.
the concept was great, I can't resist not to say yes immediately
when my friend asked me to join the training team.
there is a training for the trainer,
since this is not just an ordinary training
for several reasons

1. the training initiator is a senior psychologist.
2. she has a lot of individual clients.
3. her clients' children will be the participant of this training.
4. the aim of the training is to give knowledge about self-awareness.
5. not only psychological stuffs that were taught, but also spiritual things.

related with the "baopu" comic above,
I remember one of many materials that were given by the psychologist
during training for trainer session.
we were taught to use virtuous language to talk,
not just for the sake of the training itself.
she asked us to use it in our daily life.

at first I thought virtuous language is the same with
basic counselling class I was once got in college.
most of the principles are quite similar.
fortunately there is something new from this virtuous language.
I got this when the psychologist told us to see
the virtue everyone has which, unfortunately,
located behind the unfortunate event.

the "baopu" comic, I could say,
illustrates nicely about how virtuous language
supposed to be implied in everyday life.
instead of saying sorry, which usually lead to negative thoughts,
it is better to say thank you, which automatically makes us
think about positiveness in everything.

this new concept hit me hard.
I am now still on my way to habituate myself
with this kind of (troublesome yet very positive) language.
just like "baopu", I prefer to say sorry instead of thank you
when it comes to something which is related to my bad habit.
being late, being forgetful, being talkative,
being rude, being unemphatic, being lazy, and so on.

it is more likely for me to say
"I am really sorry for being late, I am such a mess"
than saying "thank you for your patience";
"I am sorry, I totally forgot where I put that thing"
than saying "thank you for your trust";
"I am sorry I think I talk too much"
than saying "thank you for being my ears";
"My apology, I don't mean what I said"
than saying "thank you for your consideration";
"I am sorry for ignoring your feeling"
than saying "thank you for your tolerance";
"I am sorry I delayed the work so it is passed the due date"
than saying "thank you for your kindness".

it is not easy at all, for me, to learn this new habit.
I have to be aware of what merit someone has done to me.
using virtue language makes our selves more observable
to every goodness we received from other person.

by saying thank you instead of sorry,
we shift our attention more to other person/people virtues
rather than focus on our flaws.
this kind of habit is good to train our selves
acknowledge others kindness better than mentioning
our negativeness.

by saying thank you instead of sorry,
we will be easier to see goodness in everything.
this habit changes our attitude to see every event in our lives,
whether it is an ordinary or a special one.
I believe by getting used to virtuous language,
everyone could has a better mental state
and better quality of life.
this way of talking translates gratitude
into a simple-doable action

the goodness of this training is not only happened
in the pre-training process.
I am also amazed when every parents was given
an enveloped letter.

what a thoughtful letter! I wonder if my parents ever read this one.

the existence of the virtuous language and
the post-training letter for parents
really make me satisfied with my involvement
in this one of a kind training.
thank you Ma'am psychologist, for letting me join
this insightful yet joyful event.