Saturday, 9 April 2016

Two Intuitives Talking About Love

thanks Pul, for the reminder.
image taken from here.

the 3 hour length chat with a friend,
makes me come into some new insights about relationship.

  1. feelings are like "Jaelangkung", which come and go as it is. never relies on feelings for a committed relationship. love is a noun yet a verb. it is something that needs action. love is not a feeling, it is not an adjective.

  2. it is never about "I still have a feeling for you" or "I think we are matching for one another". relationship is always about how much both parties want to give some effort in order to understand for each other.

  3. there is a quote which said that "one person is enough to make some changes in a relationship to make it work" but actually, relationship is always about the work of two people.

  4. don't give up easily in a committed relationship. just don't. the ups and downs will always be there, even in the most perfect relationship, a 50-year-old marriage.

  5. when there are times one party feels tired because of the relation, that is not a sign for the couple to end up the relationship. it is a common indication which means both parties need to discuss and talk openly to solve the weariness.

  6. appreciate your significant other's effort when s/he doing experiment in the relationship. it's not s/he trying to be manipulative but it's about how to s/he is making something different just to save a worthy relationship. nobody will care about worthless relationship.

  7. people may seems changing. it is either because their personalities are changed (which is quite impossible) or they just reveal more about themselves. this means you are trustful and reliable enough to stay although you have seen the worst part of your partner, something you've never known before. feel appreciated instead of disappointed.
thanks for the chat.
thank you my dear experience.

11:47 PM

a friend of mine post this link in our WhatsApp group,
few days after I have some new insights about relationship.

thanks Cathlin for sharing the link.
Pope Francis, amazingly, writes his thoughts about healthy relationship.
it's amazing because Pope Francis doesn't relate
any of his thoughts with Catholic doctrines.
Pope makes some points that are more psychological
and emphatic towards couples, which perhaps,
struggling to save their committed relationship.

here are some of Pope Francis relationship advice I strongly agree >:)

love needs time and space.

just listen.
being understood is the needs of every human, isn't it?

imperfect love doesn't mean love is untrue or unreal :')
this saying really hits me hard.
as an unrealistic idealist,
I tend to believe that love makes any relationship perfect.
as I read and discussed a lot about healthy relationship,
well, there's nothing can make a relation becomes perfect
besides the willingness and effort of both parties
to craft the imperfection together
until one day it becomes a perfectly imperfect relationship.

to love is to appreciate.
- Sunday Expatriate Mass @ St. Theresia Church (10/04/16)
the priest said the same things about love and appreciation
in the mass which I attended this afternoon.
somehow I wonder if the appreciation were gone,
could there be still any chance to love?
I can not agree more.
in other words, I might say
jealousy is stupid and possessiveness is ridiculous.

be realistic about our limit, defects, and imperfection.
I think that's why it is important and helpful
for every person who are involved in any relationship
to know and understand about themselves deeply.
I believe the solution of every life problems
start from within our selves.

what alters the mood is the way things are said
or the attitude with which they are said.
the longest distance of two persons is misunderstanding.
the only way to understand other is by making a healthy conversation,
the moment when two adults are able to say what's on each mind
without being accused or judged for having different point of view
and different way of thinking.

this is fresh!
I am grateful for knowing Papal relationship advice :')
in spite of the fact two persons are match into each other,
have the same willingness to make the relationship works,
and understand one to each other deeply,
but still every person is responsible to be interesting.
what can be duller than a boring partner who always
says the same thing over and over again just because
s/he doesn't read, unable to communicate one's reflection,
and doesn't give a damn with her/his surroundings?
love needs work and effort, after all.

happy loving and being loved!