|beautiful collage from Isabel Reitemeyer|
today, I went to the nearest church
to attend weekly silent mass.
I know how blank my mind is
but somehow I feel like I want to attend it.
I listened to the typical verse about how tomorrow
will take care of itself.
my mind wandered and then I realized,
how can I hope there will be someone out there
who are able to understand me well enough
if I were the one who don't know myself?
I try to be more ignorant but at the same time
I feel sad when I know little information.
I hate to do something out of my responsibility
but at the same time I put my standards to other people.
unlike projection image which A is always becoming A',
I am A which comes with B'.
when I am confused with myself
how come I expect people understand me well?
embrace your real self Stella.
it is okay not to be the ideal Stella
you've known for so long.
no need to worry.
it might be slow but the most important thing of
being in a self-development process is
you are progressing.
tomorrow will take care of itself.
I do believe it.